Ask An Astronomer Anything At All About Astronomy (XLV)

Once more the intermittent Q&A posts emerge from the gloom, bringing merriment and delight and sarcastic yet informative answers to the ignorant denizens of the internet. And this week we reach another milestone, having punched firmly through the 400 barrier ! Let joy be unconfined, let there be bizarre dancing throughout the land, let all those who read this remember to click on the links below for more accurate answers !

1) How do they know the Fast Radio Burst was 5 billion light years away ?
Lucky guess.

2) Instead of catching a rocket engine with a helicopter, why not parachute it to the ground ?
Drama.

3) Nuclear weapons are too dangerous to use against asteroids so we shouldn't do it.
Gotta nuke something.

4) Is Orion ineffective because the bombs explode radially ?
No, because they don't.

5) Where did this little gas cloud get all its metals ?
Bank job most likely.

6) Why didn't this simulated gas cloud collapse ?
It didn't want to.

7) Is NASA's sterilisation procedure just the same as natural daylight and therefore pointless ?
What ? No.

8) Could a giraffe take over the Arctic ?
Sure.

9) Does this simulation assume the existence of a supermassive black hole ?
No.

10) Could we build a solid ring around the Earth for aliens to detect ?
Uhh, no. At least not by next Tuesday.

11) What about that Alcubierre drive, eh ?
Naaah.

12) Any advice for my love life ?
Get one.

13) Would an asteroid impact be even worse at the Mariana Trench ?
I doubt it.

14) Have you tried giving the ailing telescope a nice cup of hot chocolate ?
That hot chocolate is MINE, dammit.