The exiled life of an astrophysicist
Sunday, 27 February 2011
Thursday, 24 February 2011
On Referendums
Referendums are like buses. You don't get any for years, then two come along at once - and I'm gonna miss both of them, because I missed the deadline to nominate a proxy. Damn you, oceans !!
First up, more law-making powers for the Welsh Assembly. Hah ! I don't think so. I follow politics avidly*, and I can't even remember the first Minister's name. If he's that ineffectual then it's self-evident that more powers would be utterly wasted. Say what you like about David Cameron (this won't take long as he's entirely unlikeable), at least I can remember his name.
*I even watched the Assembly live, once. What can I say ? It's not nearly as thrilling as live chess.
Which is a shame, because Welsh independence is a nice idea in principle. But then so is eugenics*. The last time we had any real independence was more than 700 years ago and we wasted it with petty infighting. Alas little has changed, and our current politicians are not quite as competent as, say, a steaming pile of rat faeces.
*Trying to improve humanity is a laudable goal. Unfortunately, trying to do this through population controls is the worst idea since the Holo... oh....
It's not that they haven't done anything useful. It's just that what they have done has been of such little consequence that I'm chronically unable to care. They also inhabit a really odd looking building and the Assembly chamber has computers at every desk. Why ? Government should be about really loud, angry debates, not tweeting to your friends about reaching level 80 in World of Warcraft. Since they seem to have forgotten this, here's a helpful guide as to what's politics and what isn't.
So unlike the last Welsh rulers, I'll happily pay homage to our English overlords if it means being part of a greater whole. Better to reign* in Hell than serve in Heaven**. Long live our tyrannical English masters !
*Or at least have a small voice
**Though this analogy doesn't really hold, because even the most angry Welsh patriotic idiot wouldn't say the whole of England is a hellish place or think that Port Talbot really qualifies as even slightly divine. Still, John Milton was good at the whole "poetry" thing, wasn't he ?
The second referendum is about the alternative vote and is far more interesting. It'd give us a more proportional government, but lead to more coalitions - assuming the Lib Dems somehow manage to maintain anything like their current share of the vote. But that's OK, because I personally have already solved this problem so as long as people are paying attention then it will be fine.
But they're probably not, which gives me a headache. If I vote yes, we'll get a fairer voting system but no real control over who's in charge, because there'll be a coalition every time. Doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose of democracy ? But if I vote no, we're stuck with our current system where there are gross differences between a party's share of the votes and its share of the seats, which can't possibly be fair.
Here's an idea - let's do both. We've got two - count 'em, TWO - houses after all. And if we were to have true proportional representation for the House of Lords, we wouldn't even need a separate vote, or anything as complex as ranking all the candidates - we could just use the share of the vote for the House of Lords. Seemples.
First up, more law-making powers for the Welsh Assembly. Hah ! I don't think so. I follow politics avidly*, and I can't even remember the first Minister's name. If he's that ineffectual then it's self-evident that more powers would be utterly wasted. Say what you like about David Cameron (this won't take long as he's entirely unlikeable), at least I can remember his name.
*I even watched the Assembly live, once. What can I say ? It's not nearly as thrilling as live chess.
Which is a shame, because Welsh independence is a nice idea in principle. But then so is eugenics*. The last time we had any real independence was more than 700 years ago and we wasted it with petty infighting. Alas little has changed, and our current politicians are not quite as competent as, say, a steaming pile of rat faeces.
*Trying to improve humanity is a laudable goal. Unfortunately, trying to do this through population controls is the worst idea since the Holo... oh....
It's not that they haven't done anything useful. It's just that what they have done has been of such little consequence that I'm chronically unable to care. They also inhabit a really odd looking building and the Assembly chamber has computers at every desk. Why ? Government should be about really loud, angry debates, not tweeting to your friends about reaching level 80 in World of Warcraft. Since they seem to have forgotten this, here's a helpful guide as to what's politics and what isn't.
So unlike the last Welsh rulers, I'll happily pay homage to our English overlords if it means being part of a greater whole. Better to reign* in Hell than serve in Heaven**. Long live our tyrannical English masters !
*Or at least have a small voice
**Though this analogy doesn't really hold, because even the most angry Welsh patriotic idiot wouldn't say the whole of England is a hellish place or think that Port Talbot really qualifies as even slightly divine. Still, John Milton was good at the whole "poetry" thing, wasn't he ?
The second referendum is about the alternative vote and is far more interesting. It'd give us a more proportional government, but lead to more coalitions - assuming the Lib Dems somehow manage to maintain anything like their current share of the vote. But that's OK, because I personally have already solved this problem so as long as people are paying attention then it will be fine.
But they're probably not, which gives me a headache. If I vote yes, we'll get a fairer voting system but no real control over who's in charge, because there'll be a coalition every time. Doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose of democracy ? But if I vote no, we're stuck with our current system where there are gross differences between a party's share of the votes and its share of the seats, which can't possibly be fair.
Here's an idea - let's do both. We've got two - count 'em, TWO - houses after all. And if we were to have true proportional representation for the House of Lords, we wouldn't even need a separate vote, or anything as complex as ranking all the candidates - we could just use the share of the vote for the House of Lords. Seemples.
Monday, 21 February 2011
Some more words
Perhaps the previous post require more exposition for random visitors. Perhaps it doesn't, but it's damned hell going to have some anyway.
I passed my driving test on the 5th go, which makes it considerably more difficult than a PhD viva (which I got on the 1st go). It's also vastly more expensive. Passing a viva costs £162 to print out 3 hardback copies of the thesis, but they've paid you £37k by that point anyway. Passing a driving test on the 5th go costs £515 plus ~£400 for lessons to take the bloomin' tests in the first place, and no-one has paid you anything. Booo.
The lesson from this is to never, ever learn to drive. Get a doctorate instead. It's much easier and comes with a salary.
Despite shaking so much you could use my legs to break through reinforced concrete I managed to get away with only 2 minor faults. The only nearly serious thing the examiner thought I did was be too close to the center of the road while waiting at a junction. My instructor disagreed, which goes to show the test is, as I've previously postulated*, not entirely subjective.
*That would be a good name for a band...
I spent most of the test convinced I'd failed. First my parallel park seemed to leave me about 16 miles away from the kerb, but in fact it didn't. Then I thought I found myself waiting for a life-age of the Earth at every junction and thought I would surely accumulate so many undue hesitation's that I'd rival Clement Freud on Just a Minute. But the bit where I gained deep and unyielding conviction that I'd failed occurred at a roundabout, where I had to go round twice because I missed an exit.
There ain't nothing wrong with this, except that the examiner flicked the indicator back up to make sure I had a right signal on. I was told that if they touch the wheel, that's it. It seems there's a handy loophole in this one : the indicator stick isn't actually part of the wheel.
Ironically, it didn't ever occur to me that the one nearly-serious thing I did would be any kind of fault whatsoever. Ordinarily this would leave me to become so bitter and twisted with annoyance that I'd compose a sonnet to the evils of over-zealous examiners. Something like :
I passed my driving test on the 5th go, which makes it considerably more difficult than a PhD viva (which I got on the 1st go). It's also vastly more expensive. Passing a viva costs £162 to print out 3 hardback copies of the thesis, but they've paid you £37k by that point anyway. Passing a driving test on the 5th go costs £515 plus ~£400 for lessons to take the bloomin' tests in the first place, and no-one has paid you anything. Booo.
The lesson from this is to never, ever learn to drive. Get a doctorate instead. It's much easier and comes with a salary.
Despite shaking so much you could use my legs to break through reinforced concrete I managed to get away with only 2 minor faults. The only nearly serious thing the examiner thought I did was be too close to the center of the road while waiting at a junction. My instructor disagreed, which goes to show the test is, as I've previously postulated*, not entirely subjective.
*That would be a good name for a band...
I spent most of the test convinced I'd failed. First my parallel park seemed to leave me about 16 miles away from the kerb, but in fact it didn't. Then I thought I found myself waiting for a life-age of the Earth at every junction and thought I would surely accumulate so many undue hesitation's that I'd rival Clement Freud on Just a Minute. But the bit where I gained deep and unyielding conviction that I'd failed occurred at a roundabout, where I had to go round twice because I missed an exit.
There ain't nothing wrong with this, except that the examiner flicked the indicator back up to make sure I had a right signal on. I was told that if they touch the wheel, that's it. It seems there's a handy loophole in this one : the indicator stick isn't actually part of the wheel.
Ironically, it didn't ever occur to me that the one nearly-serious thing I did would be any kind of fault whatsoever. Ordinarily this would leave me to become so bitter and twisted with annoyance that I'd compose a sonnet to the evils of over-zealous examiners. Something like :
There once was a driving examiner,
Who couldn't rhyme anything with examiner.
So he decided one day,
To give up poet-ray...
And that was the end of the examiner.
Ummm....
See. That's what would have happened if I'd failed. I'd destroy this blog with Vogon level poetry. Instead, I shall have to pronounce by examiner the Nicest Man in the World and award him some sort of shiny medal. Now I just have to worry about passing the test again in a foreign country...
Thursday, 17 February 2011
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
Nick Junior Will Turn Your Kids Fascist
Seriously. I've watched this channel enough to become convinced it's run by a master of subliminal messaging who's intent on indoctrinating children into a sinister neo-nazi cult. The ultimate goal of which is to turn humanity into homogeneous, peace-loving pansies where we'll all kept in check by dark - possibly alien - occult powers.
OK, I tend to only watch the Bedtime session, because the target audience is in nursery most of the day. But bedtime is when they're at the most vulnerable ! Surely we should expect good, wholesome family entertainment at a time like this. Stories about happy little animals who dance around and don't do anything. Not so.
The evening's brainwashing typically begins with a large dose of Peppa Pig. This tells
stories of the adventures of a family of pigs (who look more like large pink whistles). Their "adventures" are simple enough - sometimes no more than Peppa jumping in muddy puddles, or Daddy Pig losing his glasses. But while the plots may be innocent, the subtext is anything but.
For starters, the physics of the world is all wrong. Cars can drive up hills so steep that a mountain goat would balk at the prospect. Worse, it's just as easy on a bicycle. Is this merely artistic license, or evidence that the artist is actually from a low gravity planet and not familiar with Earth physics ?
The moral dimension of the show is where things get really bad. There's an overwhelmingly mammalian bias to everything, which is best exemplified by the line, "Don't be silly Mr Bull, goldfish can't talk." And why not ? What about the lizards and birds and snakes ? They don't even get a look in.
Such blatant racism is exacerbated by the segregation of all the different species. The pigs live in the pig house, the zebras in the zebra house. There's no intermarriage whatsoever. Where are the hybrid pig-goats and elephant-zebras ? Eh ? This world is a Nazi utopia and an anathema to multiculturalism. And since only the pigs are the stars of the show, we can infer that they represent the "Aryan" race, with the other animals representing "lesser" aspects of humanity. In fact, the whole "different houses" thing smacks of death camps to me.
Nor do the actions of any animals (at least pigs) have any negative consequences whatsoever. When Peppa supervises a baby's party, she makes them all cry but no-one cares. When she runs over Daddy Pig's prize pumpkin that he's spent patient months growing, he just says, "Never mind". I'd bet he wouldn't have said that if a zebra did it. He'd probably cart them off to the gas chamber instead.
After Peppa we get a long break full of commercialisation designed to make kids want things. Worse, at the moment we get touted with some royalist propaganda, where some girl pretends to be a Barbie-esque princess and we're all her "loyal subjects." Sod off, Barbie - I don't remember taking any such oath of allegiance. Such royalist claptrap can only be designed to give everyone an inferiority complex, reminding us to always obey our social betters - yet more Nazi indoctrination, dressed up in a cunning romantic mystique. Which is shame, because there are much better princesses available to emulate.
Then comes Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom. This delightful show is even worse than Peppa Pig, because now the protagonists are all basically human. And this time the racism is even more explicit - the elves and fairies actively avoiding each other, even to the point of holding separate Olympics. Even Hitler didn't go that far.
Moreover, the show is overtly anti-science. One of the main characters is the villainous fairy Nanny Plum, who uses her occult powers of sourcery to guide Ben Elf and fairy Princess Holly through their surreal adventurings*. It seems that all problems can be solved with magic. This leaves Wise Old Elf, who solves everything by thinking carefully and logically about each situation but always gets it wrong, looking a bit silly. Science is thus humiliated and primitive paganism venerated as the answer to the world's troubles.
* She also insults witches, which is somewhat inconsistent.
Nanny Plum and Wise Old Elf are always at odds, and it's almost always Nanny who wins. Fairies are quite explicitly the higher social order here, with the King also being a fairy (incidentally, he's also the only male fairy). The elves are very much the oppressed working classes who spent most of their time doing manual (i.e. "slave") labour, making toys for human children. Whereas Nanny teaches her fairy pupils that they must always look beautiful, and they never seem to do any actual work at all, which again smacks of Aryanism. She might as well dress up in a Klu Klux Klan outfit.
Here's where it gets really interesting. Nanny Plum and Miss Rabbit the teacher (in Peppa Pig) are voiced by the same person. Coincidence ? I think not. There can't possibly be such a shortage of voice actors. More likely the two shows are in league with each other, since they have such similar fascist views. Clearly they are trying to steal children's souls for indoctrination into a cult.
(One might think that if the two shows have the same message then their creator can't, by definition, be an alien as postulated earlier - how would fly to Earth if he's anti-science ? The implication, of course, is that he came to Earth in a spaceship powered only by magic, which does not bode well for anyone.)
Finally the evening ends with a song that's the audible equivalent of tripe. It's just too happy. I've never trusted anything so jolly it causes vomiting - look at Disney, he was a Nazi sympathiser, after all. Yet it's utterly mesmerising to its poor naive youthful audience, slowly convincing them to watch more and more Nick Junior until their souls are corrupted and their hearts wither and blacken with the dark fire of racial hatred.
OK, I tend to only watch the Bedtime session, because the target audience is in nursery most of the day. But bedtime is when they're at the most vulnerable ! Surely we should expect good, wholesome family entertainment at a time like this. Stories about happy little animals who dance around and don't do anything. Not so.
The evening's brainwashing typically begins with a large dose of Peppa Pig. This tells
stories of the adventures of a family of pigs (who look more like large pink whistles). Their "adventures" are simple enough - sometimes no more than Peppa jumping in muddy puddles, or Daddy Pig losing his glasses. But while the plots may be innocent, the subtext is anything but.
For starters, the physics of the world is all wrong. Cars can drive up hills so steep that a mountain goat would balk at the prospect. Worse, it's just as easy on a bicycle. Is this merely artistic license, or evidence that the artist is actually from a low gravity planet and not familiar with Earth physics ?
The moral dimension of the show is where things get really bad. There's an overwhelmingly mammalian bias to everything, which is best exemplified by the line, "Don't be silly Mr Bull, goldfish can't talk." And why not ? What about the lizards and birds and snakes ? They don't even get a look in.
Such blatant racism is exacerbated by the segregation of all the different species. The pigs live in the pig house, the zebras in the zebra house. There's no intermarriage whatsoever. Where are the hybrid pig-goats and elephant-zebras ? Eh ? This world is a Nazi utopia and an anathema to multiculturalism. And since only the pigs are the stars of the show, we can infer that they represent the "Aryan" race, with the other animals representing "lesser" aspects of humanity. In fact, the whole "different houses" thing smacks of death camps to me.
Nor do the actions of any animals (at least pigs) have any negative consequences whatsoever. When Peppa supervises a baby's party, she makes them all cry but no-one cares. When she runs over Daddy Pig's prize pumpkin that he's spent patient months growing, he just says, "Never mind". I'd bet he wouldn't have said that if a zebra did it. He'd probably cart them off to the gas chamber instead.
After Peppa we get a long break full of commercialisation designed to make kids want things. Worse, at the moment we get touted with some royalist propaganda, where some girl pretends to be a Barbie-esque princess and we're all her "loyal subjects." Sod off, Barbie - I don't remember taking any such oath of allegiance. Such royalist claptrap can only be designed to give everyone an inferiority complex, reminding us to always obey our social betters - yet more Nazi indoctrination, dressed up in a cunning romantic mystique. Which is shame, because there are much better princesses available to emulate.
 |
| Do you want your children to aspire to a) Aryan supremacist who doesn't do anything except get married b) a noted peace activist who got landmines banned or c) angry woman who kills oppressive tyrants by using a sharpened frisbee ? |
Then comes Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom. This delightful show is even worse than Peppa Pig, because now the protagonists are all basically human. And this time the racism is even more explicit - the elves and fairies actively avoiding each other, even to the point of holding separate Olympics. Even Hitler didn't go that far.
Moreover, the show is overtly anti-science. One of the main characters is the villainous fairy Nanny Plum, who uses her occult powers of sourcery to guide Ben Elf and fairy Princess Holly through their surreal adventurings*. It seems that all problems can be solved with magic. This leaves Wise Old Elf, who solves everything by thinking carefully and logically about each situation but always gets it wrong, looking a bit silly. Science is thus humiliated and primitive paganism venerated as the answer to the world's troubles.
* She also insults witches, which is somewhat inconsistent.
Nanny Plum and Wise Old Elf are always at odds, and it's almost always Nanny who wins. Fairies are quite explicitly the higher social order here, with the King also being a fairy (incidentally, he's also the only male fairy). The elves are very much the oppressed working classes who spent most of their time doing manual (i.e. "slave") labour, making toys for human children. Whereas Nanny teaches her fairy pupils that they must always look beautiful, and they never seem to do any actual work at all, which again smacks of Aryanism. She might as well dress up in a Klu Klux Klan outfit.
Here's where it gets really interesting. Nanny Plum and Miss Rabbit the teacher (in Peppa Pig) are voiced by the same person. Coincidence ? I think not. There can't possibly be such a shortage of voice actors. More likely the two shows are in league with each other, since they have such similar fascist views. Clearly they are trying to steal children's souls for indoctrination into a cult.
(One might think that if the two shows have the same message then their creator can't, by definition, be an alien as postulated earlier - how would fly to Earth if he's anti-science ? The implication, of course, is that he came to Earth in a spaceship powered only by magic, which does not bode well for anyone.)
Finally the evening ends with a song that's the audible equivalent of tripe. It's just too happy. I've never trusted anything so jolly it causes vomiting - look at Disney, he was a Nazi sympathiser, after all. Yet it's utterly mesmerising to its poor naive youthful audience, slowly convincing them to watch more and more Nick Junior until their souls are corrupted and their hearts wither and blacken with the dark fire of racial hatred.
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