Follow the reluctant adventures in the life of a Welsh astrophysicist sent around the world for some reason, wherein I photograph potatoes and destroy galaxies in the name of science. And don't forget about my website,

Saturday 8 January 2011

Why Arnie is a Giant Baby

I was watching a certain young relative of mine scurrying around the floor making a whole plethora of weird noises, when I realised why this should be. It's commonly assumed that they're unable to fully control their vocal chords and don't really know what they want to say anyway. This is in fact the case, but the fundamental reason behind it is not their lack of world experience, oh no. It's because they're trying to impersonate Arnold Schwarzenneger. I don't know why this collective hysteria takes hold of everyone under 3, but it does. And I can offer further evidence of this, so I will :

1) Both make similar noises

The above also illustrates point 2), which is their similar responses to being restrained

3) Both are prone to random acts of violence

4) Both are famous gropers, albeit for entirely different motivations

5) Both are seemingly unstoppable

Oh sure, he's got a rocket launcher, but have you ever tried to change a baby's nappy ?

6) Both demand that you PWT THAT COOOKIE DAOWHN ! immediately

7) Arnie is rich. Few babies are rich, but most get exactly what they want when they want it, which is basically the same thing.

8) Babies often have a strange interest in your clothes, your boots... and your tricycle.

9) Both have undeniably similar mental capacities.

10) Both are utterly useless but without them the world would quickly become a much worse place.

OK, it was a good film, but it wasn't exactly a barrel of laughs, was it ?
Without Arnie, we'd probably have "Get to the helicopter !" or even, "I'll be back soon". I don't want to live in that world.

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